


Mortal Kombat: Pre-Fight Banters Late Night Remix

by CW2K



Category: Mortal Kombat (Video Games)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:00:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29162298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CW2K/pseuds/CW2K
Summary: Unlike the original banters project, certain banters will have this: (bleep), but only on certain banters for the purpose of inappropriate sexual situations as well as bloopers, hosted by The Misfits, Ermac, Erron Black and Reptile.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 1
Collections: Multi Game Fandoms





	1. The Misfits Intro

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alwaysdoubted](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysdoubted/gifts), [ReptileMistressQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReptileMistressQueen/gifts).



Syzoth: Is this thing on?  
Erron: Motherfucker, you know it is.  
Syzoth: 'Sup, btiches! Oh... shit...  
Erron: Howdy! Erron Black here, and we present to you the last night remix of CW2K's Mortal Kombat Pre-Fight Banters... where the hell is Ermac?!?

Ermac's room  
  


Ermac: (singing) We was gonna host a show, but then we got high. Ohhh, we was gonna...  
  
Syzoth: Anyway, first episode tomorrow night.


	2. Small Beta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a beta of what the banters will look like. Inspired by Injustice 2. Special guest Samus Aran.

Harley: Ok, blondie. (bleep)ing lessons 101.  
Samus: Are you (bleep)ing me, Harley?  
Harley: I call this lesson "Wham-Bam POW!"


	3. Episode 1: The F Bombs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syzoth: Here are the banters in which characters drop the F bombs.

Cassie: Like all Angelenos, I hate the rain.  
Rain: Why hate the rain, Earthrealmer?  
Cassie: Everyone forgets how to fuckin' drive!  
  
Johnny: Heading for a fall, Goro!  
Goro: How, exactly?  
Johnny: Cuz I'm gonna punch you in the fuckin' balls.  
  
Johnny: Oh look, a robot.  
Sektor: Earthrealm's clown.  
Johnny: Is it mechanically possible for you to go fuck yourself?  
  
Spawn: Speak for yourself, not Kano.  
Kabal: My blades are sharper than my tongue.  
Spawn: Then shut the fuck up and fight.  
  
Cassie: I hear you're Satan's general.  
Spawn: No. I'm the King of Hell.  
Cassie: And I'm Queen Shit of Fuck Mountain.  
  
Spawn: Imagine Outworld free of slaves.  
Shao Kahn: Over my dead body!  
Spawn: Today's the day, skull fucker.  
  
Spawn: There's a man until all that shit?  
Robocop: Bad language makes for bad feelings.  
Spawn: Perfect. You're about to feel real bad, motherfucker.  
  
Mileena: You aided Kotal Kahn against me.  
Cassie: Well, duh, fuckwit. You're a crazed she-beast.  
Mileena: For that, I will devour your flesh!  
  
Kano: Jackson Briggs.  
Jax: Ready to end this, Kano?  
Kano: Well, we ain't here to fuck spiders.  
  
Spawn: No more jokes, no more laughs.  
Joker: Sounds like you got the case of the grumps.  
Spawn: I fuckin' hates clowns.  
  
Rambo: What do you want with me?  
D'Vorah: To feed your flesh to the Hive.  
Rambo: That is seriously fucked up.  
  
Rambo: In the future, machines are in charge?  
Terminator: All human life is terminated.  
Rambo: Fuck...  
  
Kabal: So you're Hollywood royalty.  
Johnny: Feel free to curtsy, peasant.  
Kabal: Fuck that!  
  
Baraka: What did Cage teach you to call me?  
Terminator: An ugly motherfucker.  
Baraka: I will eat him alive!  
  
Predator: (Disables his cloaking device)  
Bo' Rai Cho: You're one ugly motherfucker!  
  
Kano: Better get right with Shao Kahn.  
Baraka: **FUCK YOU _AND_ SHAO KAHN!!!**  
Kano: Now that's a bonzer attitude.  
  
Cassie: So you're actually a bouny hunter in space?  
Samus: I'm usually on dangerous missions and collecting hefty paychecks.  
Cassie: Well fuck me in the ass and call me Sammy!


	4. Episode 2: Reptile's Unnecessary Censorship, Vol. 1

Vs. Joker

Reptile: You (bleep) the emperor!  
Joker: And yet somehow I feel empty.  
Reptile: Allow him to give you purpose.  
  
Vs. Johnny Cage  
  
Johnny: Reptile.  
Reptile: You wish for agonizing (bleep)?  
Johnny: Sure, why not?  
  
Vs. Scorpion  
  
Reptile: You smell of roasted (bleep).  
Scorpion: Do not (bleep) me, Reptile.  
Reptile: I will (bleep) your bones.  
  
Vs. Mileena  
  
Reptile: Return to your jungle!  
Mileena: Its lizards are too small to (bleep)  
Reptile: This one will (bleep) you.  
  
Vs. Tanya  
  
Reptile: Tanya.  
Tanya: Reptile.  
Reptile: I will (bleep) you now.  
  
Vs. Cassie Cage  
  
Reptile: Cage...  
Cassie: C'mere. I wanna (bleep) something ugly.  
Reptile: Loathsome as your father.  
  
Reptile: Delicate one...  
Cassie: Say goodbye to your (bleep).  
Reptile: I prefer fiesty prey.  
Vs. Rain  
  
Reptile: (bleep)ing Edenians is a tricky business.  
Rain: We are not (bleep) as easily as Shao Kahn thinks us.  
Reptile: All the better, Rain.


End file.
